Coloring Within the Lines of Suicide

13 Reasons Why, a Netflix series in its third season, bravely and candidly portrays the issue and reality of suicide. It shows us in vivid detail, the steps that start with depression and lead to the murdering of oneself. The show holds no punches and makes no exceptions as it takes us into the drowning mind of a young troubled teen.

The hit BET show, Being Mary Jane, highlighted the same issues in season 3, episode 3. The character Lisa played by actress Latarsha Rose, was a successful doctor who suffered from depression and took her own life. During this particular show, the statement was made, “Black people don’t kill themselves!” Statistically speaking, turns out we do. The number is highest amongst black youth after homicide, suicide is the leading cause of death between the ages of 13 and 19.

On both of these shows and more commonly than known, suicidal thoughts are rooted in some form of trauma or abuse that turned into depression. These issues that are rarely talked about and trapped within the mind of its host. In most cases, it’s covered up and buried beneath the family tree.

There are others effected by depression in a different way. The people who break instead of bend when the pressures and pitfalls of life start caving in. A slow death deteriorates them from the inside out, penetrating to the depths of one’s soul; eroding all hope from the heart.

The road to suicide looks a like this. I’ve been down that road before, grew up right there in the middle of that darkness. Sleep walking and existing, until one day I woke up. I realized I was drowning, suffocating; my life almost gone.

I saved myself by looking up into the heart of the one who had created me. He reminded me of who I was created to be, filling my soul, mind and heart with the love he had for me. I found my inner strength to fight for life. I decided to give into living and release my grip on death. I sought help and healed myself, and discovered a healthy outlet for my pain.

I let go of toxic thinking and toxic people that were depleting me, breaking me and draining all of my energy. I rediscovered my faith and acknowledged my worth.

To those that may feel like all is lost and you’re falling apart, please pick yourself back up, along with all the broken pieces and hit reset. I know putting yourself back together is not easy at all; it takes patience, perseverance and work.

Know that you were not created to be broken. Like a puzzle, the pieces of your life can fit back together again. Don’t give up on you.